soo now I'm gonna tell you what happened a couple of weeks ago, back then i was having a lot of breakdowns about friends and some other problem that i won't go into detail with. you might be asking why am i having breakdowns and melancholy about friends, soo before i covid i always meet people every day with many different stories and experiences and enjoy every single day of it and then covid arrived destroying everything. and it changed me a lot in a not positive way where usually i can accept friends who come and go even though i care for them but after 8 grade i ended up feeling numb and really don't care about anything to the point where people were either scared or worry about me. at 9 grade i still can't feel anything until Saskia told me a lot about KPB and it gave a small boost for me to work myself to get out from aloy and graduate.

The beginning of my high school was shocking and fun cause I'm already a high schooler but i still feel the numbness like something was missing but i don't know what or who until one of my best friends that i owe soo much cause he helps me during my toughest times came to Bandung for 2 weeks and i decided to meet him after 3 years lost contact, by the time we met we just ate and catch up on things and then they say they need to go soo they just sent me back home and then the day was done. i was happy bt yet i was sad and angry cause i haven't met him for 3 years and by the time we met we just spent less than an hour like cmon really, later that night i just broke down and call Saskia to help me calm down for a bit. and until today i haven't meet him since, and why am i soo angry its because i hoped they could be the friends that could bring me somewhere new or give me new experiences but i didn't get it from them.

1 week ago i met the 4 people if been trying to find for 3 years 2 guys from Bali one kid-crazy kid from Bandung and me, the first time i met them i immediately know these are the people if been finding. the next couple of days we went on soo many adventures like playing skateboards, going to the mountains and doing stupid crazy stuff. and i love hanging out with them until one day where i broke down in front of them, one day we decided to go camping but by the time we arrived there it was a mess cause it was full of people and dangdut music soo we went to y uncles hotel called panorama at lembang and we just had fun there. Fun to the point our room was covered with vape smoke and Uno cards and then at night we went out to buy some drinks, when the drinks came we drank till we got tipsy and after a couple of uno games later we all went to sleep. while everyone was going to sleep out of nowhere i burst into tears and they ask me what's wrong and i just say "you guys are the people if been trying to find for 3 years and now finally i found yall" and one of them decided out of nowhere to hug me and then i fell asleep.

to finish things on a not very good ending one of my friends needs to go back to Bali and the person who needs to go back was the person who hugged me soo when i knew he need go back i lost everything that night i just cry more and more until 4 AM just thinking about him and what he did and ill explain what he did was soo meaning full for me.