Finding Myself

This all started when I lost track of my self. Back then I was a happy person that loves to open up to people about my self. Back then I always loved playing with friends but now everything just change. Now i don't even know myself. Currently I feel like i'm more closed up to myself than before. I haven’t been able to accept the way i feel. I know that my feelings are valid and they’re not wrong but for some reason it’s just hard to accept it. Going through a phase where I can’t accept myself was really hard for me. I would always wish that I don’t have to go through all of this. But I always believe that the world always spins, and I wouldn’t be stuck here forever. The other side of me knows that going through this phase would teach me a lesson, and someday i would look back at it and be grateful for what I have been through.

I feel confused, I don’t know what to do. My mind can think but my body and heart can't. I feel like I’m capable of changing but I haven’t hit that point of changing. 

Healing is not always consistent. Some days you would wake up feeling that your bones are full of light. There are going to be days where it feels like your heart has finally settled down into its new form, and has finally healed the wounds. Somedays you would leap towards something you always run from in the past, you would finally overcome your fears.