Hope

It's just a 'Hope' but we cannot expect what will happen in one day,one week, one month or even one year.

Based on my true story. When pandemic spread all around the world, I  didn't expect that I'm gonna lose my job. That moment, I was losing my job. It's sucks and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't ask my friends because they were the same. Most of my friends, they were losing their jobs because of pandemic. Get lost, I decided to spend more time for hiking. Firstly, I went to Curug Dago and the next day, I went to Tebing keraton and in couple days I went to Tahura and several waterfall around Bandung.

Surrouding by the 'natural world', I found my self and the self healing. Yeah, self healing from the scarriest experience and worst memory. I don't need to tell what is it but I have trying to forget and forgiven.

Day by day, time is ticking. I didn't realize that 'a hope' grows and I am getting stronger than I used to be. And I started it over and over again. Untill the end of 2021. I 'almost' losing my hope again. My mother was sick. She was hospitalize for one week. She spent three days in ICU and the last four days in bedrest. I was strong enough to face it. But not with my father. He was so confused and there was a moment I saw his cried a lot. He never do that but at the moment, I was knowing how much he loved my mother. I asked him  to stay at home and tell him that my mother would be okay. I could encourage my father but deep inside my heart, I lose my hope, I was broken. I spent most of my end year holiday stay in the hospital. I couldn't see my mom so I didn't know what happened to her in ICU. And one night, the nurses called me. They talked to me, they said 'We are trying our best. But your mom is getting worse'. I was shocked, hanging down my head and stopped thinking. I couldn't say anything. Take a deep breath and start sharing a message randomly. Just, hope some good people could send their prays for my mom. I do believe in a strenght of Do'a. That night, I was preparing myself for the worst thing. I encourage myself to be strong and I just talked to myself 'Ikhlas, lind.Ikhlas'. Time was ticking slowly, I didn't tell my father about it. He wouldn't be strong enough. The thing I could do that night was saying to myself to be 'Ikhlas' for the worst thing. It's hard to do but I was trying on my best.

The miracle of Do'a came the next morning. The nurses told me, they will moveout my mom from ICU to hospitality room. I smiled a little, hanged up my phone and called my father for the good news. I was happy without knowing what would happen the next morning. After a hectic moving from ICU to the hospitality room, I could sleep in peace and in the middle of the night, my brother called me. he told me that our nephew need hospitality. My nephew was only four years old. He lived in the next door, But when he was sick, he was in his grandparents house in Baleendah. My nephew and his parents went to three hospitals around banjaran and baleendah. But no one could give them hospitality because they were full. Around 1 a.m, I met my nephew in emergency unit. He was so weak and lose his power. He was  shocked and the doctors said he got Dengue dengan nadi yang tidak teraba. I didn't believe what I've just heard from the doctors, I hope the best for my nephew.  I spent about thirty minutes and make sure that my nephew got the best hospitality there. When the doctors said he is getting better, I decided to go back to my mother's room. She woke up, knowing me out of the bed. She was asking me and I told her that Akhtar was in emergency room. She was shocked and couldn't sleep well allnight. 

At 2.30 a.m my cousin called me, he told me that Akhtar need an intensive care in the hospital. I ran out from the bed and reached the emergency room only in a minute. I talked to the doctor. They said, they are trying their best, but Akhtar dropped down to the worst. Tidak sadarkan diri dan kehilangan nafas spontan. I didn't remember what the doctor said I just asked them, what I supposed to do. They told me, they are waiting for confirmation from several hospitals who has got PICU. I was shock and didn't believe that I got bad news twice in one week. I decided to call my father because I couldn't call my brother. They got to the hospital as soon as possible. No body asked me how I feel that night but to be honestly, I am broken for the second times. I saw how fast my nephew go away. 

25th of december 2021, 07.45 am in emergency room of RSAU dr.Salamun Ciumbuleuit.

I saw my nephew sleep forever.

He rest in peace after fight againts dengue.

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What I've written down here is what I am thinking of.

We cannot give up easily.

We must fight .

Never lose your hope.

Believe with the strenght of Do'a and don't give..don't give up easily. We must try on our best in everyway.

Work hard

Study hard 

Do all the things on your best!!!