hey, I'm soo sorry that lately I haven't been posting anything and I'm going to start with a very sensitive topic and sorry if my topic offends you. if i can be honest i do drink alcohol but i only drink if there is a big occasion or if I'm offered drinks, and actually when i was young i never like drinking or seeing someone drink because back then my stepfather like to go home drunk and always makes a mess or when he drank with his friends they all always scream and fight. like an 8-year-old kid could understand what's happening and it's quite traumatizing for me cause i never feel safe and i don't trust anyone causes everyone is messed up until i came back with my actual father where one day we decided to drink with some of his friends but something was different there were many people who were messed up but every time I'm around them they always behave very warming, even one of them decided to play chess with me and it was quite funny. although its a wrong thing to bring a junior high school to an environment like that while i was there many people who thought me what to do and what not to do.

now let me tell you a personal experience without my parents, this actually happened recently after a day of climbing and skateboarding we were going to stay over at my friend's place and on the way there we decided to buy some drinks at 18 hours and we went to Kampung Gajah to see the sunset and see the flickering Bandung lights and it was calming, i got many videos and pictures of that day and while I was drinking a burst of emotions start to came up. the day we were all drinking a friend of mine from Bali needs to go back home and it was quite sad cause he was a very warm and caring person but at the same time a bit of a lunatic and ill talk about this tomorrow. after we drank from Kampung Gajah we went to my friend's place and just hear to loud music, but not dj music or overwhelming remix but we put up Boney M, Bee Gees, earth wind and fire, Depeche Mode, and many more. and we finish everything with The Script Breakeven and it broke me until i cry uncontrollably because of the friends I've lost forever and people i miss and many other emotions.

i actually have rules about drinking alcohol that i think you should do to, one of them is if you're drinking try to know your limits and if your body says enough don't push yourself to drink more, if you ride a motorcycle or a car try not to drive, if you can stay at only one place and try not to wander off or go somewhere cause you dont know what people could do to you, make sure you have at least one person whos not that drunk to help you and take care of you, and last advice from me is control. why control cause sometimes we drink cause we want to blend in or be included, and try not to think that if you don't drink you're not cool same thing with smoking or vaping cause i may say you're cooler that you can have control over your self and others. and today Saskia talked in one of her blogs that if you run away not all of your problems will go away, the same thing like drinking don't drink to forget about something or to run away from something cause it will create more problems 

Thank you and I'm soo sorry if my topic is too much or too controversial next i will tell you what happened to me from the past couple of days.